In cancer counseling (and my personal cancer experience), patients are often surprised when the most emotional phase comes after the treatment is over and life is supposed to get back to normal. For those who are post surgery or in recent remission, friends and family are celebrating and patients often feel guilty that they are not happier. The rollercoaster of emotions gets patients thinking: “What’s wrong with me?” “Why do I feel stuck in this?” “I feel out of control.” “How do I live with this constant fear of recurrence?” “My friends and family just don’t understand.” “Where do I go from here?” “Will I ever get back to me?” The short answer is yes…but for most it takes a bit of time to get there.

I often use an analogy to help explain. If you were driving down the freeway on a dark and rainy night, and an 18 wheeler was out of control and started coming at you, you may react by clutching the wheel, jerking the car to the edge of the freeway and barely missing the truck as you spin around and stop. Only after you know you are safe do you shake and cry as you process the fear and threat to your life. After you gather yourself together, you may still fear getting back on the road because the same road is scarier now. While you were getting to safety, your brain was in survival mode and focused on averting danger without processing the emotions about what’s happening. Once the danger is over, your brain is able to catch up and then the emotions come. I have found that cancer is much like this, with an overwhelming flow of emotion after the danger has passed. Eventually the fear subsides, and over time you “drive” again without fear, but for awhile it makes you anxious to re-enter the world.

Oncology groups help patients in treatment and post treatment process the roller coaster of emotions that those who have not gone through cancer struggle to understand. If you are interested in connecting with others who “get it,” to give and receive support through all phases of cancer, please contact Stacy Bockholt at sbockholt@gmail.com or visit www.stacybockholt.com.

Author: Stacy Bockholt

Licensed Professional Counselor LPC, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Oncology Counseling
Individual, Couple, and Family Counseling

Phone: (512) 815-3599
Email: stacy@cancerrehabaustin.com

Reentry by Stacy Bockholt MA, NCC, LPC, LMFT